___So I stand in the sun and I breathe with my lungs.
Trying to spare me the weight of the truth.
Saying everything you've ever seen was just a mirror and
you've spent your whole life sweating in an endless fever.
And now you're laying in a bathtub of freezing water wishing you were a ghost.
I'm completely unconnected, constantly rejected like everything I've ever loved is coming down. I'm drowing in emotion in the middle of the ocean, never knowing when it's over and I'm going down. That's how I feel.
Sometimes despite our best wishes and intentions,
fate wins.
Everyone smiles with that invisible gun to their head
You enter and close the door behind you, now show me the world as seem from the stars. If only the lights would dim a little; I'm weary of eyes upon my scars.
How sad. This is what your life has been reduced to.
A single room apartment containing no more than a mattress.
The strings have been removed from the blinds and all the outlets have been painted over.
The television is streaked with blood from your knuckles as you were trying to punch it out
But you underestimated its strength. Or maybe you just weren't trying hard enough.
Startled by the knock at your door, you rise for the first time in two days to answer.
But you can only greet the visitor with one short statement:
Hello, my name is Distance and I really don't care if I ever wake up again.
May you have the hindsight to know where you've been, the foresight to know where you're going, and the insight to know when you've gone too far.
Look at life through the windshield, and not the rear-view mirror
I know I say i'm just fine, but I hope you wonder from time to time.
I'm face to face with a wishing well, pocketful of change but my hopes aren't for sale
I don't know how to speak for anyone but myself. You see darling, there's nothing I can say that will save you anyway.
'Cause you're a little bit too nice, I look a little bit like hell cause
I'm a little overtired and I'm a little overwhelmed.
And you're a little bit too late and it's a little bit too soon.
And I'm a little bit too strange for somebody like you.
You know, people always ask are you okay?
But they're never really expecting the truth.
Because the reality of the matter is, if I was okay,
you wouldn't really have to wonder.
When panic grips your body and your heart's a hummingbird.
Raven thoughts blacken your mind, 'til you're breathing in reverse.
Your friends and sedatives mean well, but make it worse.
Every reassurance just magnifies the doubt.
Better find yourself a place to level out.
I know it's pitiful but this medicine
says I’ll never feel again
but I’ll still monitor your heart rate
to calculate your health
even when it's keeping me from sleeping
because it's beating for someone else.
Well, if bitter is all I can be, I’d rather not be at all
i'm amazed that while there are people
you can see everyday and not say a word to,
there are other people whom you can see
once a year, or once in life, and say anything.
The hardest things to say are the words that mean the most
So I'll bite my tongue till it bleeds and I doubt you'll even know
The easiest things to fake are feelings to fool someone else
I'm on the fast track to never really learning to love.
It's like holding your breath, just to spite your lungs.
And I'll be here by the ocean
Just waiting for proof that there's sunsets and silhouette dreams
All my sand castles fall like the ashes of cigarettes
And every waves drags me to sea
I could stand here for hours
Just to ask God the question, "Is everyone here make-believe?"
With a tear in His voice, He said, "Son, that's the question."
Does this deafening silence mean nothing to no one but me?
All I hear are street sounds, you're out like a light.
The fan spins counter clockwise, TV is on low, kitchen light is breaking the night.
I need you to please talk to me, cause I'm not tired.
The hardest part of being with you is being alone.
how does one become important?
how does one start to make things right?
what could I possibly try which someone else couldn't?
I think it hurts, because I care so much. And yet I can do nothing.
I feel helpless in the grand scheme of things.
yesterday was a bad day, but it was better than today.
but it took today being worse to realize that
yesterday wasn't that bad.
theres so much about me that you dont know.
&& so much that you'll never understand.
she just needs a little help
to wash away all the pain she's felt
she just needs to feel the healing hands
of someone who really understands.
i guess everyone has their reasons for
keeping people away, an instinct to protect
yourself from getting hurt. it's part of
human nature sometimes
I don't know what to do anymore,
nothing feels the same,
I never see a smile in the mirror,
I only see pain,
pain beneath my soul,
so deep inside of me
there is no escaping it,
no coming back to a normal state of mind,
there's nothing I can do anymore
Sometimes you just put one foot in front
of the other, even if you don't know where
you're going.
Sometimes you realize, the secrets you try to hard to hide from everyone are the ones that are tearing you up inside.
Sometimes you realize, it's not that you don't want to tell them. You just have no idea how.
Do you know what it's like to be alone every moment of your life?
To force every laugh, and look around nervously to make sure they bought it.
To hurt all the time, and know, it will never get better.
Do you know what it's like to feel like your heart weighs a million pounds?
No. So don't you dare judge me. Not for one second.
No one can see the pain that we hide, they're happy for us to keep it inside, our fear is our own; they don't want to know. Why should we involve them; why should it show.
She`s just a little upset.
but she won't vent to anyone.
her problems aren't important,
and no ones listening anyways.
She's crying inside, but hey.
She's beautiful, right?
and my hope like autumn is turning brown
and i know it seems like, i'm always falling down.
I love sleep.
My life has this tendency to
fall apart when I'm awake
It's like feeling homesick all the time...for a place that doesn't exist.
Just because i look like im doing better, doesn't mean i feel any better
I'm getting better at dealing with it, and better at hiding it
But i want you to know,
It still hurts the same, or maybe worse
I need you to know that
I don't want people to make excuses for me because i have depression
But it would be nice for somebody to recognize how hard it is to function day to day
Its so hard to put into words
Things are getting to me. just how people are.
How they always expect you to be a certain way.
I dont want to be perfect, i just want to be okay
when you’re dreaming with a broken heart.
the waking up is the hardest part.
sometimes i just wanna break down, quit putting on this act, playing this role of someone who's always strong. and before long, it's too late. i've become cold and distant, my thoughts are inconsistent. so i suck it up and move foward. i'm beginnning to think i help others with their problems to avoid my own. screaming inside in the purest tone, i quit this time. i'll walk alone.
I'm face to face with a wishing well
pocketful of change but my hopes aren't for sale
we become attached to what's familiar
and sometimes,
we hold on to things that are safe
and predictable,
even if they are bad for us
She doesn't look, she doesn't see
Opens up for nobody
Figures out, she figures out
Narrow line, she can't decide
Everything short of suicide
Never hurts, nearly works
I try to take one day at a time, but sometimes several days attack me at once.
Sometimes you just can't tell someone how you feel. Not just cause you don't trust them,
& not cause you think they will call you a freak.
but cause you can never really find the right words to make them understand.
&it makes you frustrated. People take things 100 different ways,
& that's why it's so hard.
I just need something to happen, I need a sign that things are going to change. I need a reason to go on. I need some hope! And in the abscence of hope, I need to stay in bed a feel like I'm going to die today.
It's great that you can listen and be a shoulder to someone,
but what about when someone doesn't need a shoulder?
What if they need the arms or something like that?
You can't just sit there and put everybody's lives
ahead of yours and think that counts as love. You just can't.
You have to do things.
I know you feel alone yeah
no one else can figure you out
but dont you ever turn away from
the ones that help you down
well they'd love to save you
dont you know they love to see you smile
but these colors that your shining
are surely not your style
Please understand.
I can't do this.
I'm alone, on my own, and that's all I know
I'll be strong, I'll be wrong, oh but life goes on
I'm just a girl, trying to find a place in
This world
A Place in This World;
Sometimes, two hearts just
can't dance to the same beat
Change; we don’t like it, we fear it, but we can't stop it from coming. We either adapt to change or we get left behind. And it hurts to grow, anybody who tells you it doesn’t is lying. But heres the truth: the more things change, the more they stay the same. And sometimes, oh, sometimes change is good. Oh, sometimes, change is ... everything.
There is a sacredness in tears. They are not
the mark of weakness, but of power. They
speak more eloquently than 10,000 tongues.
They are the messengers of overwhelming
grief, deep contrition, and of unspeakable love.
"You could see the magic we all had that day. The magic that comes with the force of a mission, lit with a fine and rare energy. The magic of purpose and of love in its purest form. Not television love, with its glare and hollow and sequined glint; not sex and allure, all high shoes and high drama, everything both too small and in too much excess, but just love. Love like rain, like the smell of a tangerine, like a surprise found in your pocket. We were all part of that."
A question, a photograph, a statement, a story,
a struggle, a chance to laugh. because if you if
you don't laugh, you cry. a last cresendo when
you die. so hit the rewind button and listen, it's
the playback; the soundtrack to your life
Sometimes the feelings we start to
have again are the same
feelings that never really went away
There's some things I regret, some words I
wish had gone unsaid, some starts that had some
bitter endings .There's some mistakes that I have
made, some chances I just threw away, some roads
I never should've taken, some pages turned, some
bridges burned, but there were lessons learned.
its reconciled, accepted,
someone points it out to you
and it just hits you all over again
-the truth about forever
smile. let everyone know that today you're
a lot stronger than you were yesterday.
"It happens to everyone as they grow up.
You find out who you are and what you want,
and then you realize that people you've known
forever don't see things the way you do, and
so you keep the wonderful memories, but find
yourself moving on."
- Nicholas Sparks
Cause it's not over till it's over. Every ending's a new beginning. One more chance to get it right. One more chance to get it wrong. It's not over till it's over. Sometime's nowhere leads to somewere. And it all starts again in the end.
"I wrap my arm around myself and look up at the stars. The sky is filled with them. There are more stars to see than the sky tonight. I think about how I used to look at a sky like this and it would make me feel small and insignificant. And tonight, as I look at the stars, I realize that I am starting to know my place among them."
and there's that one moment,
the one moment when you've figured out
how much you've really let go,
how much you've grown.
it takes you back a step and makes you think.
it's that moment when you can't look back,
yet you can't seem to look too far into the future.
it's that moment when you realize
you're living for yourself
and no one else.
I'm reminiscing about good times and rewinding all these songs. It feels like just yesterday you were lying in my arms. Listen to my words; I'm just trying to be strong. But I have to face the truth and realize that you're gone.
In order to move on,
you must know why you felt
the way you did and why you
no longer need to feel it.
you don't need anyone to tell you who you are or what you are. you are what you are. -john lennon
"Love can come when you're already who you are, when you are filled with you. Not when you look to someone else to fill the empty space."
"I mean, both of us are trapped inside something, like mirror images of ourselves and each other. She's trapped inside her loss, inside everything that's missing from her life, trying to breathe in a vacuum. And me? The opposite--I'm trapped inside everything that's given to me, handed to me, placed on top of me, as I try to breath under a thick pile of expectation. Her future had been dismantled under her, and mine was constructed over me. And neither of us has a way of escaping. Unless maybe we do--I think the most hopeful moment of my life was when we were in the Chip and Dale costumes, holding hands while we danced in a circle, and I could hear her laughing a little bit inside there, could barely see her through the mesh, and I laughed just because she was, just because we were dumb and she didn't know the routine and we were just winging it, winging the whole thing, and I kept thinking, We're in here...hidden, smaller than the thing around us, but still inside here. If only your life were a costume, and you could just take it off when you wanted to, leave it hanging on a hook, and walk away."
"It's funny, really, all the ways we tell ourselves every day that things are going to be okay. That things are going to get better, or that things can't possibly get any worse. We all have these elaborate mechanisms to take care of our disappointments, our sadness, our pain. We build these walls around ourselves, placing bricks between us and everyone else, telling ourselves that we're just protecting ourselves, just staying safe. Sometimes the bricks are easy to see, hard things that you bump up against when you try to touch someone. Sometimes they're subtle. A slight turn of the head, a fast good-bye, a faraway look in the eyes.
Maybe some fairy tales don't even really need to be told, because they live inside of us, scaring us with their witches and their evil spells, making us wonder if maybe this time the prince won't come in time, the princess won't wake up, and maybe for once there won't be any happily ever after. Maybe some fairy tales are just too scary to even think about."
I've been living in slow motion for two days shy of four months
and my critics are the best friends I swear I knew once
and in the end I guess I really never was enough.
I have left these shores to face the tempest night
That stirs the stars against the waters with its storms
The sirens sing their song
It’s like a thousand hands that pull me down and break the course I travel on
The ocean fills my lungs, drowning out the sun
It’s rising in my lungs, I can’t breathe
"I think that's what I find most strange about this world is that nobody ever says how they feel. They hurt, but they don't cry out. They're happy, but they don't dance or jump around. And they're angry but they hardly ever scream. Because they feel ashamed. Nothing's worse than that. So we all walk around with our heads looking down and never look up and see how beautiful the sky is."
Just like ships, we float through each
other’s lives, through the waters of beauty
and grace. We will one day dock at the same
port, and give rest to our weary legs.
Take one last breath. Open up your eyes, this is all that's left.
Your beating heart will soon have nothing left, and then
you'll know the pain of love's regret. It's okay, you're fine.
I swear that you won't feel the sting. You never felt anything.
Heavenly Father, help us remember that the jerk who cut us off in traffic last night is a single mother who worked nine hours that day and is rushing home to cook dinner, help with homework, do the laundry and spend a few precious moments with her children. Help us to remember that the pierced, tattooed, disinterested young man who can't make change correctly is a worried 19-year-old college student, balancing his apprehension over final exams with his fear of not getting his student loans for next semester. Remind us, Lord, that the scary looking bum, begging for money in the same spot every day is a slave to addictions that we can only imagine in our worst nightmares. Help us to remember that the old couple walking annoyingly slow through the store aisles and blocking our shopping progress are savoring this moment, knowing that, based on the biopsy report she got back last week, this will be the last year that they go shopping together. Heavenly Father, remind us each day that, of all the gifts you give us, the greatest gift is love . It is not enough to share that love with those we hold dear. Open our hearts not to just those who are close to us, but to all humanity. Let us be slow to judge and quick to forgive, show patience, empathy and love.
I'm sitting in a room, made up of only big white walls and indoor halls
There's people looking through the window, though they know exactly what we're here for.
Don't look up. Just let them think there's no place else you'd rather be.
You're always on display. For everyone to watch and learn from,
Don't you know by now, you can't turn back
Because this road is all you'll ever have.
I'm watching your eyes move slowly
Up and down my silhouette,
And I wonder if you get it yet.
This is the last time I crawl away on these broken knees,
And don't you wish it all would be okay?
She has a fear of heights, the way you feel when you're leaving on your first flight.
She's like a sinking stone, fading from the surface,
but we are never alone. She's on a tightrope, losing balance,
yet something's pulling her towards hope. I want to run to her,
but I've already played that card, so I will fight the urge.
Eyes closed, fingers crossed; praying that she's lost...
You'll never know what's around the bend.
"Avoid the unknown" is ringing in your head.
She has a fear of love, accepting everything but
what she really dreamed of. She keeps her heart locked;
no she won't ever answer even though she hears a knock.
But love is at the door, and after all isn't that what we are here for?
There are good nights and there are hard rides.
There are a million things to think about when you give up getting high.
Limited sight came back to tired eyes and we watched the city lights
fight brightly with their will to stay alive. Everything is gonna be alright.
How did it get so late so soon?
Its night before its afternoon.
December is here before its June.
My goodness how the time has flown.
How did it get so late so soon?
I am finding out that maybe I was wrong.
I've fallen and I can't do this alone.
Stay with me, this is what I need, please?
Sing us a song and we'll sing it back to you
We could sing our own but what would it be without you?
I am nothing now and it's been so long
Since I've heard the sound, the sound of my only hope.
This time I will be listening.
You say you're looking for happiness
but when it comes, you run away from it.
You tell yourself you don't deserve it
There's not much more that I can do now, the rest is up to you
Until you love yourself, you'll never change
You'll keep on running until you deal with today.
The important thing is not to be bitter over life's disappointments.
Learn to let go of the past, and recognize that every day won't be sunny.
And when you find yourself lost in the darkness of despair,
remember, it's only in the black of night that you see the stars, and those stars lead you back home.
You may feel alone when you're falling asleep
And everytime tears roll down your cheeks
But I know your heart belongs to someone you've yet to meet
Someday you will be loved
Burn it down till the embers smoke on the ground
And start new when your heart is an empty room
With walls of the deepest blue
Holding onto patience, wearing thin. I can't force these eyes to see the end.
If only time flew like a dove, we could watch it fly and just keep looking up.
Dead - Like a candle you burned out;
spill the wax over the spaces left in place of angry words.
Scream - To be heard, like you needed any more attention;
throw the bottle, break the door, and disappear.
Next year, I'll be holding on to anything nailed down.
As for being patient, with fate and all, it's getting old and my mind is slowly changing.
I'm calling all my oldest friends saying, "Sorry for this mess we're in,"And I'm waiting, waiting.
For the sun to come and melt this snow, wash away the pain, and give me back control.
In a show of hands, who has said these words before? And in a show of hearts on the floor, who has ever meant them more? Well I'll swallow my pride if you'll stay for the years, and watch me spin circles as I disappear, and hearts, they don't lie, they just quiver in fear, as you say. Tonight we forget everything and we stay the night. If I was wrong then I'm sorry, I'll stop this fight, for the night, and this empty space left on the seat to my right where you should be says a lot. Don't let it say goodbye. And today I know, that tomorrow will shine again, golden, and bring our hearts back home. And today meant nothing, because you're gone, and I swear that this meant everything to me,because my heart's not home.
We're all lonely for something we dont know we're looking for.
How can you explain the curious sentiment that goes around
feeling like we're missing somebody we've never met?
The place I used to live made me feel like a tourist.
I couldn't co-exist with the cold and suspicious.
When the last remaining light was starting to filter,
It seemed the perfect time to step into the future.
"I'm an outsider by choice," she said.
"But I'm hoping that won't be my choice
forever. I've always liked the time before
dawn because there's no one around to
remind me of who I'm supposed to be.
so it's easier to remember who I am."
remember one morning getting up at dawn,
there was such a sense of possibility.
You know that feeling? And I remember thinking to myself,
so, this is the beginning of happiness. This is where it starts.
And of course there will always be more.
It never occured to me it wasn't the beginning.
It was happiness. It was the moment. Right then.
I'm throwing away pictures
That I never should have taken in the first place
And it's cold in my apartment
As I'm changing all the colors
From the brightest reds to grays
And I'm taking all your memories off the shelf
And I don't need you or anybody else
So take a look at me
See what you want to see
When you get home
I am humbled in this city
There seems to be an endless sea of people like us
Wakeful dreamers, I pass them on the sunlit streets
In our rooms filled with laughter
We make hope from every small disaster
I will always remember; it was late afternoon and I've seen you before.
You were always the cold one, but I was never sure.
You were all by yourself staring at a dark gray sky.
No one would find all of your feelings deep inside.
It was then that I realized that forever was in your eyes -
the moment I saw you cry.
It's a cold, cold world out there. You'll fall flat on your face a couple of times.
You'll make the same mistakes over and over, wondering what the hell you're
doing wrong, you'll start to wonder if it's best to check out early. I'll say,
"Suicide is the coward's way out." And you'll reply, "But, I never said I was brave."
We are both sitting, waiting patiently.
JD: Why are we lying in the parking lot lost?
Turk: Your hook shot knocked you unconscious and I lied down next to you so everybody would think we were chillin'.
JD: Oh. Thanks S.C.B. By the way I should tell you something. I found an apartment and I'm moving out the day after tomorrow.
Turk: Wow. What does S.C.B. mean?
JD: Super. Chocolate. Bear.
Turk: I love it.
© Scrubs
Honestly, if I'm honest with myself.
I've cried myself to sleep.
Crying out, "Oh God, where are you?
Can you hear my scream way up there.
Through the clouds, in heaven?
Do you even care?"
And honestly if I'm honest with myself.
I hate the song they sing.
It's like salt on an open wound.
But I can't get it out of my head.
It's so nice sitting very still, in a room where no one else can feel the pain that breaks my heart each day.
I'm not okay. Sunlight shining through my window lets me know that I'm still alive.
If you seek pleasure in pain and comfort in the rain and having an open heart
and you can't sit through a class, your head is half up in the clouds.
If dark days and bright nights make your world turn, you may be lonely, but you're not alone.
Trying to spare me the weight of the truth.
Saying everything you've ever seen was just a mirror and
you've spent your whole life sweating in an endless fever.
And now you're laying in a bathtub of freezing water wishing you were a ghost.
I'm completely unconnected, constantly rejected like everything I've ever loved is coming down. I'm drowing in emotion in the middle of the ocean, never knowing when it's over and I'm going down. That's how I feel.
Sometimes despite our best wishes and intentions,
fate wins.
Everyone smiles with that invisible gun to their head
You enter and close the door behind you, now show me the world as seem from the stars. If only the lights would dim a little; I'm weary of eyes upon my scars.
How sad. This is what your life has been reduced to.
A single room apartment containing no more than a mattress.
The strings have been removed from the blinds and all the outlets have been painted over.
The television is streaked with blood from your knuckles as you were trying to punch it out
But you underestimated its strength. Or maybe you just weren't trying hard enough.
Startled by the knock at your door, you rise for the first time in two days to answer.
But you can only greet the visitor with one short statement:
Hello, my name is Distance and I really don't care if I ever wake up again.
May you have the hindsight to know where you've been, the foresight to know where you're going, and the insight to know when you've gone too far.
Look at life through the windshield, and not the rear-view mirror
I know I say i'm just fine, but I hope you wonder from time to time.
I'm face to face with a wishing well, pocketful of change but my hopes aren't for sale
I don't know how to speak for anyone but myself. You see darling, there's nothing I can say that will save you anyway.
'Cause you're a little bit too nice, I look a little bit like hell cause
I'm a little overtired and I'm a little overwhelmed.
And you're a little bit too late and it's a little bit too soon.
And I'm a little bit too strange for somebody like you.
You know, people always ask are you okay?
But they're never really expecting the truth.
Because the reality of the matter is, if I was okay,
you wouldn't really have to wonder.
When panic grips your body and your heart's a hummingbird.
Raven thoughts blacken your mind, 'til you're breathing in reverse.
Your friends and sedatives mean well, but make it worse.
Every reassurance just magnifies the doubt.
Better find yourself a place to level out.
I know it's pitiful but this medicine
says I’ll never feel again
but I’ll still monitor your heart rate
to calculate your health
even when it's keeping me from sleeping
because it's beating for someone else.
Well, if bitter is all I can be, I’d rather not be at all
i'm amazed that while there are people
you can see everyday and not say a word to,
there are other people whom you can see
once a year, or once in life, and say anything.
The hardest things to say are the words that mean the most
So I'll bite my tongue till it bleeds and I doubt you'll even know
The easiest things to fake are feelings to fool someone else
I'm on the fast track to never really learning to love.
It's like holding your breath, just to spite your lungs.
And I'll be here by the ocean
Just waiting for proof that there's sunsets and silhouette dreams
All my sand castles fall like the ashes of cigarettes
And every waves drags me to sea
I could stand here for hours
Just to ask God the question, "Is everyone here make-believe?"
With a tear in His voice, He said, "Son, that's the question."
Does this deafening silence mean nothing to no one but me?
All I hear are street sounds, you're out like a light.
The fan spins counter clockwise, TV is on low, kitchen light is breaking the night.
I need you to please talk to me, cause I'm not tired.
The hardest part of being with you is being alone.
how does one become important?
how does one start to make things right?
what could I possibly try which someone else couldn't?
I think it hurts, because I care so much. And yet I can do nothing.
I feel helpless in the grand scheme of things.
yesterday was a bad day, but it was better than today.
but it took today being worse to realize that
yesterday wasn't that bad.
theres so much about me that you dont know.
&& so much that you'll never understand.
she just needs a little help
to wash away all the pain she's felt
she just needs to feel the healing hands
of someone who really understands.
i guess everyone has their reasons for
keeping people away, an instinct to protect
yourself from getting hurt. it's part of
human nature sometimes
I don't know what to do anymore,
nothing feels the same,
I never see a smile in the mirror,
I only see pain,
pain beneath my soul,
so deep inside of me
there is no escaping it,
no coming back to a normal state of mind,
there's nothing I can do anymore
Sometimes you just put one foot in front
of the other, even if you don't know where
you're going.
Sometimes you realize, the secrets you try to hard to hide from everyone are the ones that are tearing you up inside.
Sometimes you realize, it's not that you don't want to tell them. You just have no idea how.
Do you know what it's like to be alone every moment of your life?
To force every laugh, and look around nervously to make sure they bought it.
To hurt all the time, and know, it will never get better.
Do you know what it's like to feel like your heart weighs a million pounds?
No. So don't you dare judge me. Not for one second.
No one can see the pain that we hide, they're happy for us to keep it inside, our fear is our own; they don't want to know. Why should we involve them; why should it show.
She`s just a little upset.
but she won't vent to anyone.
her problems aren't important,
and no ones listening anyways.
She's crying inside, but hey.
She's beautiful, right?
and my hope like autumn is turning brown
and i know it seems like, i'm always falling down.
I love sleep.
My life has this tendency to
fall apart when I'm awake
It's like feeling homesick all the time...for a place that doesn't exist.
Just because i look like im doing better, doesn't mean i feel any better
I'm getting better at dealing with it, and better at hiding it
But i want you to know,
It still hurts the same, or maybe worse
I need you to know that
I don't want people to make excuses for me because i have depression
But it would be nice for somebody to recognize how hard it is to function day to day
Its so hard to put into words
Things are getting to me. just how people are.
How they always expect you to be a certain way.
I dont want to be perfect, i just want to be okay
when you’re dreaming with a broken heart.
the waking up is the hardest part.
sometimes i just wanna break down, quit putting on this act, playing this role of someone who's always strong. and before long, it's too late. i've become cold and distant, my thoughts are inconsistent. so i suck it up and move foward. i'm beginnning to think i help others with their problems to avoid my own. screaming inside in the purest tone, i quit this time. i'll walk alone.
I'm face to face with a wishing well
pocketful of change but my hopes aren't for sale
we become attached to what's familiar
and sometimes,
we hold on to things that are safe
and predictable,
even if they are bad for us
She doesn't look, she doesn't see
Opens up for nobody
Figures out, she figures out
Narrow line, she can't decide
Everything short of suicide
Never hurts, nearly works
I try to take one day at a time, but sometimes several days attack me at once.
Sometimes you just can't tell someone how you feel. Not just cause you don't trust them,
& not cause you think they will call you a freak.
but cause you can never really find the right words to make them understand.
&it makes you frustrated. People take things 100 different ways,
& that's why it's so hard.
I just need something to happen, I need a sign that things are going to change. I need a reason to go on. I need some hope! And in the abscence of hope, I need to stay in bed a feel like I'm going to die today.
It's great that you can listen and be a shoulder to someone,
but what about when someone doesn't need a shoulder?
What if they need the arms or something like that?
You can't just sit there and put everybody's lives
ahead of yours and think that counts as love. You just can't.
You have to do things.
I know you feel alone yeah
no one else can figure you out
but dont you ever turn away from
the ones that help you down
well they'd love to save you
dont you know they love to see you smile
but these colors that your shining
are surely not your style
Please understand.
I can't do this.
I'm alone, on my own, and that's all I know
I'll be strong, I'll be wrong, oh but life goes on
I'm just a girl, trying to find a place in
This world
A Place in This World;
Sometimes, two hearts just
can't dance to the same beat
Change; we don’t like it, we fear it, but we can't stop it from coming. We either adapt to change or we get left behind. And it hurts to grow, anybody who tells you it doesn’t is lying. But heres the truth: the more things change, the more they stay the same. And sometimes, oh, sometimes change is good. Oh, sometimes, change is ... everything.
There is a sacredness in tears. They are not
the mark of weakness, but of power. They
speak more eloquently than 10,000 tongues.
They are the messengers of overwhelming
grief, deep contrition, and of unspeakable love.
"You could see the magic we all had that day. The magic that comes with the force of a mission, lit with a fine and rare energy. The magic of purpose and of love in its purest form. Not television love, with its glare and hollow and sequined glint; not sex and allure, all high shoes and high drama, everything both too small and in too much excess, but just love. Love like rain, like the smell of a tangerine, like a surprise found in your pocket. We were all part of that."
A question, a photograph, a statement, a story,
a struggle, a chance to laugh. because if you if
you don't laugh, you cry. a last cresendo when
you die. so hit the rewind button and listen, it's
the playback; the soundtrack to your life
Sometimes the feelings we start to
have again are the same
feelings that never really went away
There's some things I regret, some words I
wish had gone unsaid, some starts that had some
bitter endings .There's some mistakes that I have
made, some chances I just threw away, some roads
I never should've taken, some pages turned, some
bridges burned, but there were lessons learned.
its reconciled, accepted,
someone points it out to you
and it just hits you all over again
-the truth about forever
smile. let everyone know that today you're
a lot stronger than you were yesterday.
"It happens to everyone as they grow up.
You find out who you are and what you want,
and then you realize that people you've known
forever don't see things the way you do, and
so you keep the wonderful memories, but find
yourself moving on."
- Nicholas Sparks
Cause it's not over till it's over. Every ending's a new beginning. One more chance to get it right. One more chance to get it wrong. It's not over till it's over. Sometime's nowhere leads to somewere. And it all starts again in the end.
"I wrap my arm around myself and look up at the stars. The sky is filled with them. There are more stars to see than the sky tonight. I think about how I used to look at a sky like this and it would make me feel small and insignificant. And tonight, as I look at the stars, I realize that I am starting to know my place among them."
and there's that one moment,
the one moment when you've figured out
how much you've really let go,
how much you've grown.
it takes you back a step and makes you think.
it's that moment when you can't look back,
yet you can't seem to look too far into the future.
it's that moment when you realize
you're living for yourself
and no one else.
I'm reminiscing about good times and rewinding all these songs. It feels like just yesterday you were lying in my arms. Listen to my words; I'm just trying to be strong. But I have to face the truth and realize that you're gone.
In order to move on,
you must know why you felt
the way you did and why you
no longer need to feel it.
you don't need anyone to tell you who you are or what you are. you are what you are. -john lennon
"Love can come when you're already who you are, when you are filled with you. Not when you look to someone else to fill the empty space."
"I mean, both of us are trapped inside something, like mirror images of ourselves and each other. She's trapped inside her loss, inside everything that's missing from her life, trying to breathe in a vacuum. And me? The opposite--I'm trapped inside everything that's given to me, handed to me, placed on top of me, as I try to breath under a thick pile of expectation. Her future had been dismantled under her, and mine was constructed over me. And neither of us has a way of escaping. Unless maybe we do--I think the most hopeful moment of my life was when we were in the Chip and Dale costumes, holding hands while we danced in a circle, and I could hear her laughing a little bit inside there, could barely see her through the mesh, and I laughed just because she was, just because we were dumb and she didn't know the routine and we were just winging it, winging the whole thing, and I kept thinking, We're in here...hidden, smaller than the thing around us, but still inside here. If only your life were a costume, and you could just take it off when you wanted to, leave it hanging on a hook, and walk away."
"It's funny, really, all the ways we tell ourselves every day that things are going to be okay. That things are going to get better, or that things can't possibly get any worse. We all have these elaborate mechanisms to take care of our disappointments, our sadness, our pain. We build these walls around ourselves, placing bricks between us and everyone else, telling ourselves that we're just protecting ourselves, just staying safe. Sometimes the bricks are easy to see, hard things that you bump up against when you try to touch someone. Sometimes they're subtle. A slight turn of the head, a fast good-bye, a faraway look in the eyes.
Maybe some fairy tales don't even really need to be told, because they live inside of us, scaring us with their witches and their evil spells, making us wonder if maybe this time the prince won't come in time, the princess won't wake up, and maybe for once there won't be any happily ever after. Maybe some fairy tales are just too scary to even think about."
I've been living in slow motion for two days shy of four months
and my critics are the best friends I swear I knew once
and in the end I guess I really never was enough.
I have left these shores to face the tempest night
That stirs the stars against the waters with its storms
The sirens sing their song
It’s like a thousand hands that pull me down and break the course I travel on
The ocean fills my lungs, drowning out the sun
It’s rising in my lungs, I can’t breathe
"I think that's what I find most strange about this world is that nobody ever says how they feel. They hurt, but they don't cry out. They're happy, but they don't dance or jump around. And they're angry but they hardly ever scream. Because they feel ashamed. Nothing's worse than that. So we all walk around with our heads looking down and never look up and see how beautiful the sky is."
Just like ships, we float through each
other’s lives, through the waters of beauty
and grace. We will one day dock at the same
port, and give rest to our weary legs.
Take one last breath. Open up your eyes, this is all that's left.
Your beating heart will soon have nothing left, and then
you'll know the pain of love's regret. It's okay, you're fine.
I swear that you won't feel the sting. You never felt anything.
Heavenly Father, help us remember that the jerk who cut us off in traffic last night is a single mother who worked nine hours that day and is rushing home to cook dinner, help with homework, do the laundry and spend a few precious moments with her children. Help us to remember that the pierced, tattooed, disinterested young man who can't make change correctly is a worried 19-year-old college student, balancing his apprehension over final exams with his fear of not getting his student loans for next semester. Remind us, Lord, that the scary looking bum, begging for money in the same spot every day is a slave to addictions that we can only imagine in our worst nightmares. Help us to remember that the old couple walking annoyingly slow through the store aisles and blocking our shopping progress are savoring this moment, knowing that, based on the biopsy report she got back last week, this will be the last year that they go shopping together. Heavenly Father, remind us each day that, of all the gifts you give us, the greatest gift is love . It is not enough to share that love with those we hold dear. Open our hearts not to just those who are close to us, but to all humanity. Let us be slow to judge and quick to forgive, show patience, empathy and love.
I'm sitting in a room, made up of only big white walls and indoor halls
There's people looking through the window, though they know exactly what we're here for.
Don't look up. Just let them think there's no place else you'd rather be.
You're always on display. For everyone to watch and learn from,
Don't you know by now, you can't turn back
Because this road is all you'll ever have.
I'm watching your eyes move slowly
Up and down my silhouette,
And I wonder if you get it yet.
This is the last time I crawl away on these broken knees,
And don't you wish it all would be okay?
She has a fear of heights, the way you feel when you're leaving on your first flight.
She's like a sinking stone, fading from the surface,
but we are never alone. She's on a tightrope, losing balance,
yet something's pulling her towards hope. I want to run to her,
but I've already played that card, so I will fight the urge.
Eyes closed, fingers crossed; praying that she's lost...
You'll never know what's around the bend.
"Avoid the unknown" is ringing in your head.
She has a fear of love, accepting everything but
what she really dreamed of. She keeps her heart locked;
no she won't ever answer even though she hears a knock.
But love is at the door, and after all isn't that what we are here for?
There are good nights and there are hard rides.
There are a million things to think about when you give up getting high.
Limited sight came back to tired eyes and we watched the city lights
fight brightly with their will to stay alive. Everything is gonna be alright.
How did it get so late so soon?
Its night before its afternoon.
December is here before its June.
My goodness how the time has flown.
How did it get so late so soon?
I am finding out that maybe I was wrong.
I've fallen and I can't do this alone.
Stay with me, this is what I need, please?
Sing us a song and we'll sing it back to you
We could sing our own but what would it be without you?
I am nothing now and it's been so long
Since I've heard the sound, the sound of my only hope.
This time I will be listening.
You say you're looking for happiness
but when it comes, you run away from it.
You tell yourself you don't deserve it
There's not much more that I can do now, the rest is up to you
Until you love yourself, you'll never change
You'll keep on running until you deal with today.
The important thing is not to be bitter over life's disappointments.
Learn to let go of the past, and recognize that every day won't be sunny.
And when you find yourself lost in the darkness of despair,
remember, it's only in the black of night that you see the stars, and those stars lead you back home.
You may feel alone when you're falling asleep
And everytime tears roll down your cheeks
But I know your heart belongs to someone you've yet to meet
Someday you will be loved
Burn it down till the embers smoke on the ground
And start new when your heart is an empty room
With walls of the deepest blue
Holding onto patience, wearing thin. I can't force these eyes to see the end.
If only time flew like a dove, we could watch it fly and just keep looking up.
Dead - Like a candle you burned out;
spill the wax over the spaces left in place of angry words.
Scream - To be heard, like you needed any more attention;
throw the bottle, break the door, and disappear.
Next year, I'll be holding on to anything nailed down.
As for being patient, with fate and all, it's getting old and my mind is slowly changing.
I'm calling all my oldest friends saying, "Sorry for this mess we're in,"And I'm waiting, waiting.
For the sun to come and melt this snow, wash away the pain, and give me back control.
In a show of hands, who has said these words before? And in a show of hearts on the floor, who has ever meant them more? Well I'll swallow my pride if you'll stay for the years, and watch me spin circles as I disappear, and hearts, they don't lie, they just quiver in fear, as you say. Tonight we forget everything and we stay the night. If I was wrong then I'm sorry, I'll stop this fight, for the night, and this empty space left on the seat to my right where you should be says a lot. Don't let it say goodbye. And today I know, that tomorrow will shine again, golden, and bring our hearts back home. And today meant nothing, because you're gone, and I swear that this meant everything to me,because my heart's not home.
We're all lonely for something we dont know we're looking for.
How can you explain the curious sentiment that goes around
feeling like we're missing somebody we've never met?
The place I used to live made me feel like a tourist.
I couldn't co-exist with the cold and suspicious.
When the last remaining light was starting to filter,
It seemed the perfect time to step into the future.
"I'm an outsider by choice," she said.
"But I'm hoping that won't be my choice
forever. I've always liked the time before
dawn because there's no one around to
remind me of who I'm supposed to be.
so it's easier to remember who I am."
remember one morning getting up at dawn,
there was such a sense of possibility.
You know that feeling? And I remember thinking to myself,
so, this is the beginning of happiness. This is where it starts.
And of course there will always be more.
It never occured to me it wasn't the beginning.
It was happiness. It was the moment. Right then.
I'm throwing away pictures
That I never should have taken in the first place
And it's cold in my apartment
As I'm changing all the colors
From the brightest reds to grays
And I'm taking all your memories off the shelf
And I don't need you or anybody else
So take a look at me
See what you want to see
When you get home
I am humbled in this city
There seems to be an endless sea of people like us
Wakeful dreamers, I pass them on the sunlit streets
In our rooms filled with laughter
We make hope from every small disaster
I will always remember; it was late afternoon and I've seen you before.
You were always the cold one, but I was never sure.
You were all by yourself staring at a dark gray sky.
No one would find all of your feelings deep inside.
It was then that I realized that forever was in your eyes -
the moment I saw you cry.
It's a cold, cold world out there. You'll fall flat on your face a couple of times.
You'll make the same mistakes over and over, wondering what the hell you're
doing wrong, you'll start to wonder if it's best to check out early. I'll say,
"Suicide is the coward's way out." And you'll reply, "But, I never said I was brave."
We are both sitting, waiting patiently.
JD: Why are we lying in the parking lot lost?
Turk: Your hook shot knocked you unconscious and I lied down next to you so everybody would think we were chillin'.
JD: Oh. Thanks S.C.B. By the way I should tell you something. I found an apartment and I'm moving out the day after tomorrow.
Turk: Wow. What does S.C.B. mean?
JD: Super. Chocolate. Bear.
Turk: I love it.
© Scrubs
Honestly, if I'm honest with myself.
I've cried myself to sleep.
Crying out, "Oh God, where are you?
Can you hear my scream way up there.
Through the clouds, in heaven?
Do you even care?"
And honestly if I'm honest with myself.
I hate the song they sing.
It's like salt on an open wound.
But I can't get it out of my head.
It's so nice sitting very still, in a room where no one else can feel the pain that breaks my heart each day.
I'm not okay. Sunlight shining through my window lets me know that I'm still alive.
If you seek pleasure in pain and comfort in the rain and having an open heart
and you can't sit through a class, your head is half up in the clouds.
If dark days and bright nights make your world turn, you may be lonely, but you're not alone.